How to Get Past The Velvet Rope - VIP Status in Six Simple Steps.

So you and your friends are waiting in what must surely be the worlds longest line at the hottest nightclub in town. The club is jam-packed, and the bouncer is letting in only a select few "VIP'S" (mostly gorgeous women and guys who pull up to the valet in Ferrari's) whilst you wait and wait and then wait some more with the other desperate and clueless in line. How, you ask, do I beat this line and get in the club? Is my money not good enough for them? Who or what decides who or what a VIP is? Heres five things you should know BEFORE you step up to the Velvet Rope, by an industry veteran with over twenty years experience in the Nightlife business.

STEP1:

The Default Cool for Nightlife Dress Code: Are you dressed to kill? or are you dressed like you're going to a Cubs game.

Think on it a moment, you see all the other people going into the club dressed to the nines, dressed to dazzle and dance while you are standing in line with your khaki shorts, baseball cap, and beer stained t-shirt. It's probably the number one reason why you will be stopped at the rope. Dress to kill...Don't dress to kill your night.

For the guys that means black, black and then more black, unless you have a line of designer clothing that would make Armani proud. Just because you think your $300 Nikes look pimp with your carefully tilted Fedora, doesn't mean that the bouncer will subscribe to your fashion sensibilities. If you're a girl, your odds are infinitely better than the frat boy but if you really want to shore the odds in your favor, dress sexy. Dress to give your dad a heart attack and attract the dirtiest death stares from every other girl in line. The rule of thumb for guys and girls...dress sexy not stupid.

STEP 2:

Get in Early: Most nightclubs, lounges and Bars have a more lenient policy with entrance conditions early in the night. If a club has just opened for the night and you are dressed right, there shouldn't be too much of a line....still its nowhere near as cool as waltzing past the long line, high fiving the bouncer like a long lost brother and rocking into a jam-packed club at midnight.

So for some being early is for the birds.

STEP 3:

Where My Ladies at? Women: It's an unspoken truth with nearly all nightclubs and lounges (other than the tourist driven and gender specific bars and those high end restaurants with a clubby lounge attached) that women will be given preference over men when it comes to getting past the velvet rope. "Why that's reverse sexual discrimination" you might cry outraged. While you are right it will never be admitted by anyone at the Velvet Rope. If they are foolish enough to admit this is the case then they are either a)new at the job b)don't want their job or c)an idiot.

Women are prioritized because of the age old bar adage "Where the women at?" or as I like to explain it "Where the girls go the boys follow" Every bar Manager likes to see a bar full of beautiful women because he knows there will be a long line of hopeful schmucks lining up to buy them overpriced martini's or bottles of super premium vodka.

So if you're a guy, try and go with some women. They don't have to be your significant other and you don't even have to really know them that well. You can even try to "piggy back" off of other women who are waiting in line. If you offer to pay their cover for example, then as you get to the rope the girls will say "they're with me" and your odds just got better. Warning. Don't go up with four guys to two girls, its a 50/50 chance that the bouncer will shut you both down, in favor of a group of girls who are unaccompanied. One guy, to two girls is a good ratio.

STEP 4:

Are you on the list? All clubs and lounges have VIP/Guest lists. They are their for special guests, celebrities, staff guests, special events, private parties, member groups, and special invite.

Special invite and private parties are where you want to get listed. There are many off night and early-in VIP lists that clubs have to try to bolster their slow times. Call ahead and get yourself on those lists. If you have a group of say eight people and you think it could end up being as much as twenty, then call ahead and get on a "private party list" Large groups in a club, especially early in the night are most times always welcome.

Sometimes, these pointers are not going to be enough for you. So here is where the holy grail of Velvet Rope knowledge is revealed. The next two steps are the guaranteed steps to beating the Velvet Rope...but they're not cheap so brace yourself.

STEP 5:

VIP Bottle Service: Priority is given in most nightclubs and lounges in every major city in the US anyone who wants to pony up the dough and order a bottle of liquor. In many cases you will be required to reserve two sometimes three bottles of premium liquor, usually vodka. This will get you a table and a place on the VIP list.

Be warned. The bottles will run you anywhere from $150-500. The average is $200. Of course the price is different from city to city.

There will usually be a bottle host hovering near the door to whisk you away to you own little booth or table so ask at the door/rope for the bottle host if you haven't already made a table reservation.

Some clubs will waive the cover charge ($10-$50) for bottle service reservations so if you do the math and your group of six breaks up the costs of two bottles and the door cover waiver means that you will get VIP treatment, a table, bottle service and the best of all...no waiting in frigging line, all for around $50 per person. Which if you are at a hot club you could easily expect to spend in the first couple of hours. ($20 cover, 2 x $12 martinis plus tip).

This is not going to be the case in all clubs but it should give you an idea of what I call the "VIPenomics", the economics of being a VIP.

STEP 6:

Grease the Doorguy: This is probably THE most important part of all.

The bouncer, usually called the "door guy or door man" is earning perhaps $12-15 per hour. You read that right. $12-$15 per hour...about the same as working at Macdonalds. Nightclub owners are notoriously cheap with their security, even with those who control the hallowed point of entry, the velvet rope. Some clubs in different parts of the country have a tip sharing arrangement but usually the doormen are on their own. They have to 'work the door' for whatever gratuities they can so they are in no hurry to do anybody any favors when the club is bumping and the line is long....unless you "grease the palm".

This is where you walk straight past the line, shake the hand of the doorman with a deftly crumpled dead president in yours and "tip" the doorguy to expedite your entrance. I'll say it again. Discreetly fold a twenty dollar bill (in some cases it will be a fifty or a hundred) and pass the money to the man (or woman) controlling the velvet rope in a handshake. He will take it, greet you like an old friend and usher you into the club.

So simple. So easy. Yet so few do it. Grease the doorguy. He will take care of you and your VIP status is automatic.

There are some basic rules to follow, namely don't be cheap and don't abuse your new found VIP status. It can be more than aggravating when a guy who tipped him twenty comes back out to the door/rope and insists that his six other friends be let in. If the doorman gets exasperated, he might just give you back your twenty and make you go back in line...all the way at the back. So don't push your luck and don't try to play like Trump if you don't have his money.

The nightclub doormen constantly get abused, insulted, threatened and often times assaulted doing their best to keep the club cool and clean. If you are dressed like a thug with your pants down by your knees and your baseball cap on sideways and you roll up with your 'posse', odds are - unless your name is Jay-Z - you will be turned down. Their job is to keep people who dress and behave like sh*t out of the club.

Sometimes, a newby doorguy will let you slide in without any deference to bottle service or "grease" but most hot clubs have experienced guys at the door, controlling the velvet rope and they have a rule, an understanding just like everyone else in the Nightlife industry.

You have to pay to play.